Monday, June 11, 2007

Camelback Mountain - Its a Bomb

In a foxhole somewhere in Diyala Province

Ahmed: Get ready on the detonator. I can see a patrol of the Americans coming.

Mamoud: Duck Ahmed!!!! The godless American F-16’s are dropping bombs.

Ahmed: May Allah damn these Americans!!!

(There is the whistle of a bomb falling from the sky followed by a surprisingly soft muffled thud near the two intrepid salafists.)

Ahmed: Hah, a dud. That was close.

Mamoud: It kicked up a lot of dust but I can still see the Americans. I am ready.

Ahmed: Mamoud, what is that funny smell (sniff, sniff) It is like, hmmm, like the smell of a camel in rut. Mamoud . . . is that some new soap you are using?

Mamoud: What? No. And I do not smell it. Now watch for the Americans.

Ahmed: It smells very good, actually. Hmmm, you know Mamoud, I really like the color of that new ghutra you’re wearing. It really brings out the color of your eyes and the highlights in your beard.

Mamoud: What in Allah’s name are you talking about? Keep your hand on the detonator – the damned Americans are almost -

Ahmed: Mamoud, has anyone ever told you that you that you have a pretty mouth?

Mamoud: (picking up his rifle and pointing it at Ahmed) Are you insa - (sniff, sniff). Wait, I am smelling it now too. Hmph, you know, Ahmed, it really is rather nice. . . But I think it is more like the smell of a he-goat. A very big . . . strong . . . he-goat.

Ahmed: I don’t know but . . . your robes are a bit dusty and rumpled. (moving behind Mamoud and begins to straighten out Mamoud’s robes and rub his shoulders) Here, let me fix them for you.

Mamoud: Thank you Ahemed. Hmmm, the Americans are almost here but, ooooo, that feels so goo - . . . hey, is that your AK-47 hitting me in the back?
So might go the first successful field test of a “gay” bomb. No, this is not a joke dreamed up as part of a new Mel Brooks movie. It is straight from the Pentagon planners. It does not kill, it just stimulates the senses with strong aphrodisiacs that leave a radical Islamist forgetting all about the joys of jihad and martyrdom to seek something no 72 virgins will ever be able to offer:
A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.

Pentagon officials on Friday confirmed to CBS 5 that military leaders had considered, and then subsquently rejected, building the so-called "Gay Bomb."

Edward Hammond, of Berkeley's Sunshine Project, had used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain a copy of the proposal from the Air Force's Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio.

As part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested, "One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior."

The documents show the Air Force lab asked for $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon.

"The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soliders to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistably attractive to one another," Hammond said after reviwing the documents.

"The notion was that a chemical that would probably be pleasant in the human body in low quantities could be identified, and by virtue of either breathing or having their skin exposed to this chemical, the notion was that soliders would become gay," explained Hammond.

The Pentagon told CBS 5 that the proposal was made by the Air Force in 1994.

. . . "In fact, the Pentagon has used it repeatedly and subsequently in an effort to promote non-lethal weapons, and in fact they submitted it to the highest scientific review body in the country for them to consider."

Military officials insisted Friday to CBS 5 that they are not currently working on any such idea and that the past plan was abandoned.
Read the entire article here. You just can't make this stuff up. But, what the hell, I will support it if it takes the jihadis concentration off blowing up Americans and onto . . .

(H/T Jules Crittenden)

2 comments:

Dinah Lord said...

Camelback Mtn - I love it.

LOL at this one bud....

Actually though, if you think about it - the Gay Bomb just might be the answer to this whole Middle Eastern madness. I have long posited that the root of all Islamic evil (disregarding the problem of consanguinity for the moment)is sexual repression.

Maybe the gay bomb would allow the Islamists some much needed "sexual healing" and give those poor middle eastern goats a much needed rest.

Cheers - D

HillbillyPolitics said...

Whether it's meant to be funny or not, abandoned or not, I find it hilarious.

I doubt someone could make a gay bomb... it's not that simple psychologically speaking. However, they could make such an aphrodisiac... if it brought out homosexual tendencies as the only available sexual relief... oh, well.

 

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